Things I’ve Learned from my Mom

How to draw a proportionate face; What St. John’s Wort looks like when it is ready to be picked; That dancing to ‘80s pop in the kitchen is one of the fastest ways to make yourself happier; How to cook a poached egg; That I need to be polite when someone gives me a gift, even one I hate; How to ride a bike, probably; To spend a moment praying for every dead animal we pass on the road; Not to eat standing up; That the window seat is the second-best seat; To say thank you every time someone gives me a ride somewhere; How to tie my shoes; That there is good food and there is bad food; To fall asleep with lullabies; How to laugh until my laugh makes no sound; To have a glass of warm milk and a piece of toast with strawberry jam when I can’t sleep; To hold animals very, very gently; How to pronounce the name of my favorite province; That anemones suck on your toes if you touch them very lightly; Why we do not leave brushes in water with their heads upside down; How to use an iron; To put baking soda on bee stings, and then to put honey on after; That we do not chew with our mouths open even though we are in America; How it feels to be hit by a wooden spoon; That I have clammy hands, too; That my hands are also so, so soft; That I like having my hand held on walks; How to wax my legs; Why burned garlic ruins a dish; How to avoid making my father angry; How to stay quiet when I messed that up; To always keep the air on in the car, even if on the lowest setting; Why I should not suck bruises onto my arms when I get bored; That string bikinis are for skinny girls like my sister; How to look for shapes in the clouds; That ginger is the best cure for nausea; To hide my body; How it feels to be held; To always check behind me when I leave someplace, in case I left something behind; Why the women in my family carry so much pain; Not to put my face too close to one of a dog who doesn’t know me well; To love vanilla ice cream; Why I should not eat too much sugar; How to cut a red bell pepper; That being shy isn’t always a bad thing but must often be pushed past; Not to hitchhike. Ever; That a bit of dirt on the carrot isn’t a bad thing, just eat it; How nice it is to get a foot rub from someone you love at the end of a day; To pick books based on their covers, sometimes; That art museums are magic; Why we lock our doors; How to call 911; That swimming in the ocean is one of the most fantastical experiences we can have; That it is possible to love someone more than we love ourselves; So much so that we cannot stand the world for inflicting hurt on that person; That when we leave our family, there is so much pain it feels impossible; That it is not impossible; How it feels to lose someone you could have never been ready to lose; How to make almond milk; What ice cream is called in Afrikaans; How to pretend I am okay; What to make for dinner when dad comes home tired; How to be a daughter (not a good one, just... one.); Why we do not ask my extended family for money, even when we need it; That there are very few things more important than sleep; That there is nothing more important than family; That there is no else I would rather have as my mother; That I love you; And you love me, always; That I miss you.